Q: Two years ago, my wife and I got a roommate to share the rent-stabilized apartment in Manhattan that we’ve lived in for 40 years. A year ago, he stopped paying rent for his room — he didn’t claim job loss or another hardship, he just refused to pay. We do not have a written agreement with him, so we asked him to move out, but he refused. We hired a lawyer, but our claim could not proceed because he applied for the Emergency Rental Assistance Program, and that case is still pending. He has tried to verbally intimidate me, and has periodically locked me out of my apartment. The police have come a few times but have taken no action. What can we do?

A: Normally, in New York, if you want a roommate to move out, you give him written notice — in this case 90 days, because he’s been there for two years and you do not have a written agreement. If he does not comply, you can take him to housing court after the deadline. But because your roommate applied for rental assistance, you have to wait for that case to resolve itself in the courts before you can proceed. So you’re in a holding pattern.

But this relationship is deteriorating into an unstable living environment. “Unfortunately, in my 35 years of experience as an attorney, hostile habitancy arrangements like this tend to escalate from bad to worse,” said Lucas A. Ferrara, an adjunct professor at New York Law School and co-author of “Landlord and Tenant Practice in New York.”